Enos' Pants
by Dukes126plus
Summary: Sure, nine times out of ten Bo decides that Luke’s too good for the girl, but that just goes to show that Hazzard’s too small a pond for two sexy fish like him and his cousin. From Deputy Dukes.


This is another one where all I can say is, heh. Bo is cute when he's in denial? From _Deputy Dukes_.

* * *

It's not much, just an inch of cool breeze. Well, it has a way of spreading out once it makes contact with his skin. Conquers then divides, half of the chill dropping down into his boot while the rest creeps up toward his knee, and luckily can't make it around the knobbiness there.

Not much, but it's enough to remind him that he's wearing Enos' pants. He can't believe he's thinking that Luke got the better deal over there, belted into Rosco's trousers, but he did. The sheriff, at least, used to have a brain. It'll be awhile before Rosco's current state of mental disarray overtakes Luke. Bo has felt stupid from the minute he got into Enos' clothes, and things show no sign of getting any better.

Then there's the other thing. Bo can't swear that Rosco ever got laid, but he assumes it must have happened at least once or twice. Enos, who has been carefully saving himself for the right girl (and what an absurd notion that is), apparently stores his libido in his deputy uniform. Which shows more intelligence than anything else the fool's ever done, considering he can't get laid on duty even if he wants to. Seems he leaves his horniness in these pants overnight so he can't get into trouble when he's off-duty, either. And that would be fine if Bo hadn't been wearing Enos' clothes for the better part of the day – while sitting next to Luke.

Oh, it's not entirely Enos' fault. Bo has noticed his cousin a few times before. It's just been more in the context of comparing him to whatever girl he's with. Sure, nine times out of ten Bo decides that Luke's too good for the girl, but that just goes to show that Hazzard's too small a pond for two sexy fish like him and his cousin. And with Luke rejecting, on principle, any girl that's ever shown interest in Bo, his cousin's choices are very limited.

Oh, yeah, Bo has noticed that Luke's sexy. Or sexual, anyway. It's hard not to notice that I-want-you look followed by that I-want-you smile, followed by Luke and the recipient of said look and smile disappearing for awhile, and returning with entirely different smiles. And the fact that Bo has always been slightly resentful of whomever that look and smile get directed at probably has everything to do with the fact that Luke never likes Bo's dates either.

Right. This logic always seems so sound as long as there's a girl nearby for Bo to rub up against. Standing here watching bent-over Luke cleaning the last of the gunk out of the carburetor of the old ambulance they "bargained" out of the used-car salesman, so they can take it back and retrieve the Hazzard County cruiser (_that's county property! I'll cuff ya and stuff ya if it ain't sittin' outside that courthouse by nightfall, ijit!_), no amount of logic can override the curse of Enos Strate's pants. Makes him wish they'd kept Mary Beth with them, but of course they had no choice in that. She had to get taken to Hazzard as a witness and potential suspect in the attempted escape of Rocky Marlowe.

"Luke," he snaps at his cousin's hind end, sticking out of the hood of the ailing ambulance. "Ain't you got that yet?"

Luke growls back, "You wanna get down here and help me?"

Oh yeah, he sure as hell does, or maybe it's Enos' pants that do. In fact, could be that Enos and Rosco's trousers are involved in a torrid affair that Bo and Luke know nothing about, but are soon to learn the particulars of. Bo takes a step closer to his cousin. Just one, still plenty of room between one itchy set of pants and another.

"Bo, get down here while we still got some light to see by."

Well, now that's an interesting idea, seeing each other. Bo kind of figured that whenever the pants got their way about things, he'd just close his eyes. But if Luke wants to see— yeah, Bo's losing his mind.

He sidles up closer, just acquiescing to his cousin's request. Lets their shoulders get close, but keeps their hips a demure few inches of space apart.

"Hold this," Luke condescends, handing him the crescent wrench that Jesse left behind with them. There's a screwdriver, too, and how Luke manages to affect repairs with just those two tools, Bo will never know. But it's all his cousin ever seems to use. "Here, Bo, hold it over here." Huh? Oh, he's supposed to use the wrench to hold a nut still while Luke tightens the screw. Seems he's one step up from being a toolbox. He's brute strength, is what he is. And out of ways to keep any distance from Luke so long as he's providing leverage.

So their hips come together and the pants get funny ideas. About how Luke's deputy uniform is too tight and probably constricting him.

"We probably ought to get these shirts off," he mumbles. Luke calls him stupid with a simple snort into his ear. Shouldn't do that so close, not around people with lots of hair and ticklish ears. "To uh," and his damn voice sounds too high in his own head. "To keep them from getting dirty. You know Boss would make us buy new ones." It's the pants talking, they've spent more hours hanging around Boss Hogg than either he or Luke has.

"We're just about done here," is the response. "If'n you would just hold that bolt tight."

It's the angle, honestly. He could do a better job of providing resistance if he was standing where Luke is. He sidesteps until his left hip is behind Luke's right. The pants approve of this development, and rub him the right way to prove it.

"Maybe," he suggests, "I should stand behind you." His arms are long enough to reach around Luke and still hold the tool in question.

"Maybe," Luke growls, "you should just hold the dang thing still. If you can manage that, we can be out of here in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

See, now Enos' pants don't like that idea. Out here on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, they figure they've got half a chance of getting what they want. Back in Springville, one-horse town though it may be, the pants reckon they'll get denied again.

"It's stripped, Luke." The screw. "It ain't gonna tighten down. Maybe we just oughtta take it off."

"Just hold it still," Luke pants in his ear, continuing to wrestle the thing into submission. Bo leans hard against Luke, though his intentions are not clear even to himself. The move gives him Luke to lean on, which both helps his leverage and those pants of Enos'. Doesn't matter what he had in mind, though. At the point where both boys' strength is in full use, the screwdriver jumps its groove. All of Luke's weight crashes into Bo, and they hit the ground.

Bo gasps for air as Luke sits up.

"You all right?" he gets asked, but his mouth just keeps on gaping. "Bo?"

Luke's concerned now, brows pulled in, dangerously blue eyes beneath them staring into Bo's face, looking for a better answer that the sound of lungs trying to re-inflate.

There it is, Luke moving in for a closer look. The pants wait, counting seconds until he's just about crawled on top of Bo, and then they make their move. Luke never sees it coming, but Rosco's trousers don't seem to mind.


End file.
